TuttleTree.com

Ingredients:

• 1.5 lbs ground beaf, lean
• 1/4 cup bread crumbs
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp each: Garlic salt, Italian Seasoning, Basil, Oregano
• Ketchup & Mustard
• 1 small handful of grated Mozarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350. In a medium bowl, combine beef, eggs, 1/4 cup ketchup, and breadcrumbs. Kneed thoroughly with your hands. In a separate bowl, combine 1 tbsp mustard, another 1/4 cup ketchup, spices, and cheese; mix well. Press meat mixture into an ungreased 4x9 loaf pan, coat with sauce mixture, cover loosely with aluminum foil, and place on center oven rack for 1 hour.

With 4 minutes and 23 seconds remaining on the timer, have your toddler, 2-days shy of his (or her) first birthday walk across the room, but fall over onto your bipolar cat.  Cat will screech and scratch the child, leaving a long cut on his (or her) face, around the eye, but lucky for you, not actually in the eye. Panic.

Turn oven and timer off, leave door cracked. Take child to emergency room. Child will have scratch cleaned and inspected — need "steri-strip" (fancy band-aid), but luckily not stitches. Receive prescription for antibiotics, and head to discharge. Woman working at discharge offers plush cat toy made by seniors at a nearby home, not realizing it was a cat that caused the injury. Her coworker will make a joke along the lines of, "don't you know it was a cat that scratched him (or her)??", not realizing that her joke was the truth. Explain that it actually was a cat, and have a good laugh over the irony. Take the cat toy anyway.

Drop your spouse and child off at home, then head straight to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled before they close; since they won't be open the next day due to Holiday. Wait 15 minutes for prescription to be filled, show pharmacist pictures of scratched child. Return home, reheat meatloaf for 10 minutes at 350. Serve with lukewarm leftover mashed potatoes and shame.

For best results, start prep by 5:00pm so that you can eat by 8:30pm.

Your results may vary.

(Morning after:)