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Wednesday morning I woke up and felt pretty good. In fact, everything was fine—except one thing.

I've been searching for something that seems like a more polite way to say this, but I don't think there is, so I'll just have to say it as-is. I had diarrhea. Bad. As in twice before I left the house in the morning, twice on my train ride in to work (I prayed that I didn't poo my pants—I didn't), and then another 6-7 times at work, another time (praying) on the train ride home, and another 3 times before bed. And then twice during the night.

I had affectionately started thinking of my stomach bug as "Swine Poo."

But like I said, everything else was fine. No fever, unusual headaches, etc. So, I took a sick day on Thursday to fight off the demon in my bowels, and I was successful. I went back to work today, and tonight—Friday night—I feel basically back to 99%-100% of what I was before Swine Poo.  But that's not what I'm writing about, exactly.

You know how when you get a cold and have to blow your nose constantly, it gets raw and hurts to touch it, even with a tissue?

Yeah.

That.

My butt.

Ouchies!

So on Thursday, home alone and surrounded by baby paraphenalia, I started to search the house for something that could soothe a raw, well, erm… bottom.

DESITIN^® Rapid Relief Cream

Select DESITIN^® Rapid Relief Cream to treat and prevent diaper rash when you want:

• relief from the very first use
• a creamy product that goes on smoothly and wipes off easily
• to create an instant creamy skin barrier
• a dermatologist-tested formula
• the #1 choice of pediatricians and moms

DESITIN^® Rapid Relief Cream is a smooth and creamy diaper rash treatment that contains zinc oxide, known to block moisture from baby's skin. The barrier cream forms a protective layer on your baby's skin to soothe and relieve diaper rash discomfort, providing relief from the very first use. In fact, over 88% of moms agree that nothing works faster. Our hypoallergenic, dermatologist-tested formula goes on smoothly and wipes off easily, making DESITIN^® Rapid Relief Cream your everyday partner in protecting against and treating diaper rash for relief your baby can feel.

As of today, I can give my full endorsement to Desitin. Dad tested, anus approved.

Not only did I get instant relief when applying the cream, but it lasted roughly half the day. It's not exactly a procedure I've mastered enough to be able to do it in the privacy of a bathroom stall at work, but it certainly does the job in the comfort of my own home. And it seems like all of the damage that was done over that first 36 hours was undone in just 12-18 hours with Desitin.

I can't speak highly enough of this stuff, and I can guarantee you I'll be putting it on Dylan's butt whenever it gets red… and, well, maybe my own butt again, should the need arise (even though I hope it doesn't).

Disclosure: I have not contacted or been contacted by anyone affiliated with Desitin or Johnson & Johnson, its makers; and I have not been paid for anything I've written here. In fact, the picture and quoted text are used without permission. Please don't sue me.